


I Don't Understand

by Larry_Klaine_Stylinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 06:54:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larry_Klaine_Stylinson/pseuds/Larry_Klaine_Stylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis comes home drunk and won't take no for an answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Understand

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written as a prompt fill on Tumblr.
> 
> Disclaimer: As usual, I do not condone rape of any sort.

Louis had gone out drinking with Niall and Zayn, they'd invited Harry along, but he hadn't really felt up to going out tonight, in more of a lounging around the house and watching films sort of mood. He didn't mind Louis going out without him, though. Sure, he would've liked to be cuddled up against him right now, but he and Louis didn't have to be attached at the hip every second for Harry to know that Louis loved him and vice versa, and Louis deserved some time out with the lads if he wanted it.

Harry was sitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn next to him, watching some action film that he found lying around. He'd spent the past three hours crying at Titanic, and he figured he ought to watch something to take his mind off how sad that film always made him. He adored it, but every time he watched it he got all sad, and his eyes would be puffy from tears, and usually he'd cuddle Louis, but since Louis wasn't here, he decided another film would have to do.

The movie was just ending when Harry heard the key in the lock. Louis stumbled in, dropping his keys in the bowl by the door before making his way over to the couch and plopping down next to Harry.

"Hey, Hazza." He slurred, sounding highly intoxicated.

"Hey, Lou." Harry smiled. "Drink a bit much?"

"Jus' a little bit." Louis said, holding his thumb and forefinger a few inches apart, trying to indicate how much he'd had to drink, though Harry was sure he was underestimating.

Louis had always been the bigger drinker between the two of them. Sure, Harry could get himself pretty pissed drunk when he wanted, but he rarely did. He preferred a light buzz. Being completely smashed like that made him a little uncomfortable. Not being able to remember what he'd done the next morning and waking up with a pounding head; He didn't really enjoy it. And it wasn't that Louis got like this very often either, just that when he did drink, he had much less restraint than Harry. Harry could go out with the lads and have a beer or two or take one shot and be done with it, just enough to give him that slight tingling feeling, but Louis had to go all out. Get completely wasted.

Harry didn't mind, though. Louis was funny when he was drunk. Generally ten times as clingy as he was normally, and that was quite a feat, considering he was nearly always clinging to Harry's side, almost like a child trying to make sure they didn't get separated from their parent in a large crowd.

Louis rested his head on Harry's shoulder, "Whatcha up to?"

"Just got done watching a film." Harry said. "Was getting a bit tired, actually, but I wanted to wait up for you."

"That's sweet." Louis smiled up at his boyfriend.

"Mhhm." Harry hummed, nodding. "Want to go to bed now, then?"

"Sure." Louis nodded, and Harry helped him up off the couch, not trusting the older lad's wobbly legs to hold him up.

He wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and led him to their bedroom. It was hot in their room, so Harry opted for sleeping naked, as he often did. He helped Louis get his trousers off without falling over, and then they snuggled into bed together.

Louis turned over so that he and Harry were both lying on their sides facing each other, and he leaned in, kissing Harry on the lips. He tasted of alcohol, but Harry didn't mind, smiling into the kiss and gently tracing his fingers over Louis' jaw. Louis deepened the kiss, shoving his tongue into Harry's mouth somewhat forcefully, which surprised Harry, though he didn't have a problem with the intrusion. He sighed as Louis moved his tongue around in Harry's mouth, licking along Harry's own tongue.

Harry pulled back after a moment, "Lou, I'm sleepy." He yawned.

"Just kiss me, Harry." Louis said, taking Harry's face in his hands and kissing him hard on the mouth.

Harry gave in, never one to deny Louis of kisses. Louis tangled his hands in Harry's hair, tugging on it lightly, and Harry sighed happily. Louis rolled them over so he was on top of Harry and began grinding his erection into Harry's leg.

"Lou." Harry said, shoving at Louis' shoulders. "Lou, I want to go to sleep."

"Oh, come on, Harry." Louis said, kissing down Harry's jawline. "You can't just leave me like this." He whispered in Harry's ear.

Harry wasn't hard. He was tired, and he just wanted to cuddle up to Louis and go to sleep.

He yawned again, "Tomorrow, babe. I promise."

Louis leaned down, kissing Harry again and rutting against him, and Harry was getting a little annoyed now. Sure, Louis was generally clingy when he was drunk, and he definitely got horny a lot, but when Harry said no, Louis would just get off him and go have a wank or forget about it and go to sleep. Tonight was apparently going to be a bit more difficult.

"Louis." Harry said. "I really want to sleep now."

"No you don't." Louis said, attaching his lips to Harry's neck, just below his ear and sucking lightly.

Normally Harry would have enjoyed that immensely, but not now. He didn't want to do anything now. Why didn't Louis get that?

"Lou, come on." Harry said, shoving at his boyfriend. "Stop it, yeah?"

Louis pulled back, and Harry thought he was finally going to give up and go to sleep, but then Louis was sucking his own fingers into his mouth, coating them with saliva before bringing them down to Harry's hole.

"Lou, you're not-"

Harry was cut off as one of Louis' fingers breached his tight ring of muscle, and he sucked in a sharp breath, not prepared for the intrusion.

"Lou, I don't want to." Harry said firmly.

Louis ignored him, adding a second finger and scissoring them deep inside Harry, he then added a third, shoving them in and out roughly.

Harry scrunched his eyes shut, "Lou, you're hurting me." He muttered.

Did Louis not see that Harry wasn't even hard, or did he just not care?

"You've done this before, Harry." Louis said, giving him a closed mouth kiss on the lips. "Can't possibly hurt that much."

Louis couldn't honestly believe that this wasn't uncomfortable. He hadn't even lubed up properly, and he was stretching him much too quickly, not giving him any time to adjust.

"Louis, I'm serious." Harry said. "Get off."

"Maybe I don't want to get off." Louis said, trailing soft kisses down Harry's chest.

Harry didn't understand. Why was Louis being like this?

Before Harry knew it there was a spit slick cock lining up with his hole, pushing in far too quickly, and a strong wave of pain spread through him. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth.

"Lou, it hurts." He said softly, tears springing to his eyes. "I just want to go to sleep, Louis, please."

"Oh, don't be such a baby, Harold." Louis said, pulling his hips back and slamming in again.

Harry shoved at Louis' chest trying to get him off and Louis growled. He didn't sound angry, though. He sounded almost as if he thought this was a game, and that made Harry even more upset. This wasn't a game at all. Harry just wanted Louis off him. He just wanted him to get off of him and let him go to sleep, but he couldn't get him to budge. Harry was hurting, physically and emotionally now, because what Louis was doing was considered rape, wasn't it? Harry had said no, and Louis wasn't stopping.

God, Harry didn't even want to think about that. Louis would never ever do that to him.

Harry shoved hard at Louis' shoulders, and Louis took Harry's wrists in a firm grip, holding them tightly and pinning them above Harry's head. Louis was holding his wrists so hard that they hurt, and he was pretty sure his blood flow had been cut off.

"Lou, let go." Harry wiggled. "Please."

"Harry, you're making this a lot less enjoyable than it should be."

Louis didn't seem to get it. He didn't understand that Harry just wanted him to get the hell off of him. He didn't care that Harry was hurting. He just didn't care about anything.

Harry began to cry, feeling the first few hot tears stream down his cheeks, and then they sped up; More and more tears coming faster and faster, and he wanted them to stop and he wanted Louis to stop and he just wanted it all to stop. Harry wiggled his fingers, hoping that would help a bit with the blood flow.

Louis looked down into Harry's eyes, and Harry could tell that Louis knew how much he was hurting, and yet he still didn't stop. Instead he leaned down and kissed away his tears, hushing him and telling him that he was fine and everything was going to be alright, which only caused Harry to cry harder.

Louis was thrusting hard and fast, and with each thrust, Harry's ass would throb in pain.

Louis was groaning, moaning Harry's name, and Harry couldn't take it. He didn't want to hear it. Not like this. Not when he just wished Louis would get off of him. He didn't want to remember this moment when he heard those sounds in the future.

Louis reached down to take Harry's cock in his hand, only to find that he was still soft.

"This is disappointing." He muttered, and Harry let out a small broken sob.

What had come over Louis? Why was he being like this? This wasn't the Louis that Harry knew; The Louis he fell in love with.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut tight, every tiny movement Louis made feeling like an avalanche inside him. Louis sped up his hips, letting out deep throaty grunts and soft pleased sighs, and Harry just wished he could put his fingers in his ears and block it all out. Louis' grip on Harry's wrists tightened and his hips sped up, thrusting into Harry harder and harder, and then his thrusts became more sporadic, losing the rhythm he had gained, and then Harry felt him coming deep inside him, shuddering above him and calling out Harry's name loudly.

He let go of Harry's wrists and flopped down on top of him, breathing heavily, obviously having warn himself out. He kissed Harry lightly on the cheek, and Harry winced. He didn't want Louis to try and cuddle with him. He just wanted him to get off of him and let him cry himself to sleep.

Louis trailed soft kisses down Harry's neck, placing one last one on the corner of his mouth before rolling off of him, facing away from him on the bed and whispering, "Night, Hazza."

Harry rolled onto his side away from Louis, curling in on himself. He was sticky with Louis' sperm, but he couldn't be bothered to get up and clean off, not trusting his legs to hold him up. His chest was tightening and and he felt like he couldn't breathe as sobs wracked his body. He covered his mouth with his hand, trying to keep quiet, not wanting to wake Louis. His wrists were stinging, and he knew there would be bruises on them tomorrow, but there was nothing he could do about that now.

Eventually he drifted off into a restless sleep, managing to stay asleep until morning, although he felt highly unrested when he woke up, not opening his eyes. He felt the bed shift next to him and knew that Louis was moving about, so he made it a point to keep his eyes shut, not wanting to face Louis yet.

It was hard pretending to be asleep, however, because now that he was awake his ass was screaming in pain, and his wrists were throbbing. He wanted to get up and assess the damage, but at the same time, he didn't want to look at his wrists and see the marks he knew would be there.

"Haz?" Louis asked softly, and Harry kept his eyes shut. "Harry, I know you're up. Your eyelids are fluttering like they do when you're pretending to be asleep. You've got to get better at that." Louis chuckled, but he sounded solemn. Harry wondered if he remembered what had happened last night.

Harry let his eyes flicker open, "Morning." He said awkwardly.

Louis was holding his head, "Think I drank a bit too much last night."

"I'll say." Harry muttered.

"Harry, are you-?" Louis cut himself off as if he didn't know how to finish the question. "Did we...? You said no, didn't you?"

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, tears welling up in his eyes which he didn't want Louis to see, "Yeah, Lou. I said no." Harry nodded, his voice thick with emotion.

"And I..."

"Didn't stop." Harry said, opening his eyes again. "Yeah."

Louis sat up in the bed, grabbing onto his head quickly, obviously having caused it to spin by sitting up so fast, "Harry, I..."

Harry sat up as well, scooting up against the headboard, but keeping as much of himself covered by the blankets as he could.

Louis pulled Harry's hands out from under the blankets, taking them in his, "I am so sorry, Harry. I don't know why I-" Louis cut himself off, gasping as he looked down at Harry's wrists. "Did I do this?"

Harry nodded, tears running down his cheeks.

Louis let go of Harry's hands, bringing his own hands up to wipe the tears from the younger lad's cheeks gently, holding his face softly between his hands afterwards and looking Harry directly in the eyes, "Why didn't you stop me, Harry? I didn't...I never..."

"Tried." Harry muttered. "I tried to stop you."

"You must....You must be stronger than me." Louis whispered. "You should've shoved me off. I might've been angry at the time, but Harry...I'm more angry at myself now than I ever could have been at you. I just don't understand."

"I don't understand either, Louis." Harry said, and he wasn't yelling, but he was rather certain his tone hurt Louis more than yelling would have. "I tried to shove you off. You pinned me down and you wouldn't...Wouldn't stop. I just wanted to sleep, Louis. I just wanted you to stop." Harry let out a broken sob, and Louis pulled Harry into his chest, petting his curls and holding him tight.

"I've never gotten like that when I was drunk before, have I?" Louis asked, concerned.

"No." Harry shook his head. "Not ever."

"I don't know why I did it, Harry." Louis shook his head. "I just don't know, and that's the worst bit. I don't know why I didn't stop. How badly did I hurt you?"

"Pretty bad." Harry shrugged. "It's okay, though. You didn't mean to and you-"

"No." Louis cut him off. "Don't try to justify me in this, Harry. What I did was absolutely wrong. You shouldn't forgive me for it. Not ever."

Harry cried harder as Louis rubbed his back, because he knew that Louis was right. What he had done was wrong, and Harry was deeply hurt by it, but he did forgive him. He just wanted Louis to kiss him and make it all better.

"I'm never drinking again, Harry." Louis told him, pulling back from the embrace and looking Harry directly in the eyes. "If there's even a chance that I'd end up hurting you again...I can't, Harry. No more drinking for me. I'll tell the lads, too. And you and the lot of them can stop me, yeah? If I ever feel like having a drink just...Just don't let me."

"Okay." Harry nodded. "You're not going to tell them why you-?"

"No." Louis cut him off. "God, no."

And Harry knew that it was more for Harry's sake that Louis wasn't telling than his own. Sure, if Louis told the lads they'd all give him a talking to, maybe even give him the cold shoulder, maybe hate him. But Louis wouldn't care, because Harry could tell that he felt like he'd deserve that. No, the reason Louis wouldn't tell the lads is because he knew Harry well enough to know how humiliated Harry would be. How self conscious it would make him for the lads to know that this had happened to him. Louis understood.

"Harry." Louis said quietly, taking Harry's face in his hands and running his thumbs gently over Harry's cheeks, soothing him, "I'm so sorry. I don't want you to forgive me for this, Harry. And if I ever hurt you like this again, I want you to do something about it, okay? I don't want you to let me hurt you."

"Okay, Louis, I promise."

"Good." Louis nodded. "I love you, Harry. I love you and I'm so fucking sorry."

Harry stopped himself from telling Louis it was okay, knowing that wasn't what his boyfriend wanted to hear, "I love you, too, Louis."

Louis brought each of Harry's wrists up to his mouth, covering them both in kisses, and Harry knew that Louis was going to make this all better.


End file.
